Crazy Ass Planet

I recently came across this and it led me to this, which prompted this:

I don’t understand western separation any more than I understand Quebec separation. I never have.

But then, what is more Canadian than lack of understanding? I spent half my life in eastern Canada and the other half here in western Canada. What I found was that the east doesn’t understand the west anymore than the west understands the east.

They have this in common though: neither has any inclination to understand the other.

That’s another great Canadian feature, one that unites us like no flag ever could. We share an almost fanatical obsession with bitching about the other guy and whining about how no one pays attention to us. And – dammit! – we just wanna leave. Get out. Go home.

It’s the Canadian way.

There’s a guy down the street from me. His name’s Bruce. He’s a separatist. Can’t stand Canada. Can’t stand Alberta. Can’t stand the U.S. Or Quebec. Or the woman next door.

But he likes Bruce. A lot. He wants to create his own nation in his backyard. He’s thinking of calling it Bruceland. He’s currently working on a constitutional draft, a flag and on seeing if he can’t get his own National Hockey League franchise (for when they get back on the ice.) He’d also like to develop his own beer – not because he likes beer but he does like girls in bikinis.

Bruce’s biggest problem is that his wife recently left him. (Very un-Canadian of her – it’s one thing to say you’re leaving, quite another to actually do it.) Being single now, Bruce worries that when he does become an independent nation he won’t have anyone to bitch about anymore.

It may be the one thing that keeps in Canada.

Tag: Alberta, Canada, Canadian Politics

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