Thank you for shopping Safeway – stop looking at our breasts
January 26th, 2006 by Bill
I’m not the family grocery shopping guy – I’m the single guy shopping guy. So I don’t buy laundry detergent, toilet paper or potatoes in proportions like, oh, African relief air drop bundles. I shop in small proportions and with an indeterminate schedule.
And I mainly shop at the local Safeway because it’s two blocks away. I just wander over (on foot – no car, I don’t drive) and pick up whatever few things I need.
I do this quite often because it’s a pleasant walk, especially with the iPod on, and the tour through the Safeway is pleasant enough (especially with the iPod on). It’s a smaller Safeway – not one of those behemoth deals the size of ten city blocks. Their clientele is students largely (from the university), plus single professionals (like myself) and the forgotten and dismissed elderly. No need for a big store here. No massive family purchases required.
Okay … so what’s my point? Well, it’s the business of name tag placement. It’s always on the chest and, in the case of female cashiers, the boob. It’s impossible to determine what someone’s name is without staring at her boobs.
This wouldn’t bother me so much except, given the close proximity to the university, a good deal of the help is first and second year university students trying to snag a few extra dollars by putting in time at the Safeway. And that means when I am in line running my items through the cash I’m left staring at the boobs of young, fresh, bright, nubile, skin-tight-and-tanned-as-Hollywood young women while I am … not.
I can’t help thinking I seem like a sex-deprived freak stalking the young, at least to those other grocery shoppers in the line behind me.
I mean, the cashier grabs my Safeway and debit card and at the behest of corporate directive refer to me by name. So I am trying to respond in kind. Except to do so I have to gaze like a miner shifting for gold at their boobs.
“Could you move that sweater aside, miss? No, I’m not looking at your left tit. I’m trying to see what your damn name is.”
I really think this is something the corporate world needs to look at. Is there no better way to assign name tags than on the boob? I fear trouble may me a’ brewing.
“I swear to God, I was just trying to see her name! It’s Rhonda, isn’t? Rhonda! Tell ‘em I was just looking at the name tag!!!”
Bill, if it aint broke, don’t fix it. It’s the perfect excuse for all of us when we get “busted” staring at said breast.
BTW - I do all of my shopping at the Food King.
Yeah, Bill, stare at the tits. That’s what they’re there for for God’s sake. She wouldn’t be all tanned and gorgeous if she didn’t want you to stare. Trust me. Just look at the damned name tag already.
you could kinda squint while looking in that direction, thus making it seem like you can’t quite read it and while still getting a good look-see at the breasts.
Well, unfortunately, I’m nearsighted so I have to take my glasses off and lean in toward the boob to read the tag. Kind of like Mr. Magoo.
Would they notice?
I live just opposite the afore-mentioned safeways, nr the Knox Church, and I can’t say I’ve been troubled by the positioning of the name tags.
They have stopped stocking pizzarogies though. They used to sell the whole range but now they’ve started stocking Safeway’s own-brand perogies - in the same flavours as Cheemos - but have axed pizzarogies. It’s a disgrace. The Garneau village should be up in arms. But instead people just put a brave face on it and go about their daily business as if nothing as changed, slaves to corporate Canada, forced out into the suburbs to buy their pizzarogies elsewhere.
Knox Church … down at the end of my street, where I go to vote. Yes, that Safeway replaces everything with their own Safeway brand versions. I can no longer get my favourite Tazo Zen tea there. I have to wander all the way over to 104th Street and that SAVE-On, or whatever it’s called.
I’d be more than happy to sign a petition urging the reinstatement of pizzarogies and Tazo Zen tea.
Me too, is there such a petition I wonder. If there isn’t then there should be, let’s start one!
ROFL!!!! I love it!