Fat, skinny and missing things
May 9th, 2006 by Bill
So late Sunday night I saw Neil’s post Fat People. But it wasn’t till today I posted a comment.
I decided to post my comment here as well. (But I should warn you, it makes more sense if you’ve read Neil’s post. I recommend reading it.) This was my comment:
I saw this post late last night when there were 0 comments but couldn’t think of a way to comment that wasn’t a rambling, incoherent rant.
Now I see there are 50 comments and I feel the same way. So let me say, in a rambling, incoherent way …
I don’t think this has anything to do with “fat” or “Jews” or “insert a popular cultural group.” We seem to have a need to vilify someone and to me the real question is, “Why?”
I don’t have an answer for that, by the way.
As for “fat” … Yes, there are people who are overweight and once again the question is,”Why?” Of more interest to me, however, is why anyone who is large is considered “fat” (just as anyone who is thin is anorexic). In other words, there are people who are supposed to be as large as they are, just as I am suppose to be as small as I am, and that’s just the way things are. Yet everyone who doesn’t have a template look is considered “fat” or “skinny” or something or other.
I think we live in a “one size fits all” world. The fact is there are many different body shapes but our world (well, as far as the media is concerned) prefers to see it as one generic boring world. We celebrate people with body shapes that make a fashion designer’s life easy. Can any of the big name designers actually design for normal people? I don’t think so. They seek out and design for specific body types. The ones that make their freak show cat walk shows look good.
I saw one of those CSI type shows the other day on TV. It was a very socially aware show about obesity and blah blah blah. Of course, none of the stars of the show were “large-sized.” No, they had to write specific characters and hire specific actors so the stars, all standard issue Hollywood body types, could look concerned and sympathize with an issue they would never have to deal with themselves.
But I ramble. Your post, I think, isn’t about “fat” or anything else like that. It’s about what is missing in our lives. Why do we feel the need to despise someone else, be they large, Jew, black, Latin, French or fill-in-the-blank?
My guess is that it’s because if we’re pointing at someone else we’re not looking at ourselves.
Sorry. This post rambles. I don’t think I actually articulated what I wanted to - I think I just vented incoherently.
As a “fat” person, I have been called names, turned down for jobs for which I was uniquely qualified and have been treated poorly by friends and strangers alike.
Last year, it occurred to me that people act like that because I make them uncomfortable.
Why do I make them uncomfortable?
Because I am happy with the person that I am, regardless of my size.
This fact upsets their world view, where everybody is ranked based on some trait. They despise the fact that someone who is lower than them is happier than them. How dare I be happy? How dare I be smart? How dare I be able to take on so much and do it so well? I’m out of line by doing what I do.
To those people, I say “lick me.” My worldview is not ranked. I will continue to do what I do, without regard to narrow minded opinions about me. I will continue to kick ass because I have the capability and the drive to do so.
It’s too bad that there are people who needed to subscribe to the ranking system in order to figure out where they fit into the world.
I agree. I think the only way some people can feel good about themselves is by trying to figure out what might wrong with someone else. I really can’t stand assholes like that. I think the world would be a pretty boring place if everyone looked the same.
great comment/post. it brought to mind that show “the practice”… when camryn manheim was on it, i remember hearing that they cut any sexual scenes that involved her because the station thought “no one would want to see a fat person make out or get laid.” um, hello! maybe if you showed larger people as the normal, sexual people they are there wouldn’t be so much stigma. people want to see a reflection of themselves and there are certainly a great many of us that are deemed “large.”
interestingly enough, they never hesitated to show a full on sex scene in the shower between the disappearing laura flynn boyle and dylan mcdermott.
hmmm.
I’m not a skinny girl by any means…in fact by no means. If truth be told…I could lose a few. There are times I do feel discriminated against, but those people just suck. I think that if I was too skinny they would discriminate me for that too. Because, like you said, it takes the spotlight off of them.
Besides…if I lost weight…I’d lose my boobs too. I’m not so sure that I’m willing to part with them.