Today is about masculine smells
May 27th, 2006 by Bill
Every day has a theme, if you look for it. After a few hours of being up and about you begin to notice little things that, on the surface at least, seem related – even if the relationship is a strained one.
It seems my theme for today was smell. (Note: soon this shall evolve into a rant.)
I get on a bus going downtown. There is a group of guys, maybe the 14 to 16 year age range, who had been involved in athletic activity. I could tell by the kinds of clothes they wore (all the same t-shirts, shorts etc.) and by the fact that their event must have ended recently as they were all perspiring to beat the band.
The bus smelled like a high school boy’s locker room. Males reading this will know exactly what I mean – probably many females will too. Not the most agreeable of scents. But I suppose it could have been worse.
It did, however, remind me that I needed to buy deodorant. So in my travels, as I engaged in Saturday shopping, I bought some. (For the curious: today’s purchases were deodorant, beer and a paper shredder. Hmmm … what was I up to?)
Here’s the thing (and the rant): they did not have the scentless deodorant I usually get. So I unwisely bought a scented kind. Big mistake. I wasn’t thinking. You see, the deodorant was not marketed for women but for men.
You may not know this but all bathing, shaving and hygiene products designed for men are, if scented, the most ghastly smelling things you can image. I don’t know why but the people who make these things appear to think that the appealing masculine scent would be something like floor cleaner circa 1960. When I took the top off the deodorant and took a whiff to see what I’d picked up I immediately pictured Samantha in Bewitched using it on the bathroom tiles while Endora asked her why she was enjoying such drudgery.
It is the same with shaving cream (well, gel these days – everything is a gel now). Floor cleaner from another era. Who decided that men should smell that way?
Are there women who actually find that smell on a man appealing? I just can’t imagine it. If I were a woman I certainly wouldn’t want my husband smelling like my mother’s kitchen floor (as recalled from childhood).
At the very least, I think the labeling should change. The deodorant I got today has the extremely odd name Rainstorm Averse. I’m not sure what that’s suppose to mean. But it should be called Mom’s Kitchen Floor. And those shaving gels … they should say Grandma’s Well-Scrubbed Toilet scent.
Please, please, please … could someone do something about these appalling smells the male population is being saddled with? (Oh, yes I know … we could probably spend about $100 bucks for some designer named deodorant and that would probably smell fine but … it would cost $100!!!)
You know, the worst thing is I bought TWO of these damn things. So I’ll probably spend the next several weeks smelling like 1968 floor cleaner.
I don’t know about the smell, but that Right Guard commercial with the dancing girl is sweet.
The best smell is just plain ol’ Clean Man.
Yum.