I think I need a maid service
August 16th, 2006 by Bill
No matter what I do, my place always looks like it’s been hit by a shit storm. It always looks as if frat boys have had a go at being the assholes that rest firmly entrenched in their essential natures.
My place looks like hell with a hangover.
I’m not sure why this is. But my place always looks like a mess. Even after I’ve cleaned.
I have considered - really! - getting a maid service. Two things have prevented this. One, it strikes me as shameful to have to pay someone to clean up after you. It’s like counting on your Mom to wipe your ass. It’s just not the sort of thing a grown man wants to admit to.
Two, in order to clean the place they would have to come into it, and that means they would see it. So, absurd as it sounds, I would have to first clean my place before I can ask the cleaning people to come in and clean it. Again, it’s an attempt to avoid the shame of being me.
I could probably get over all that deep rooted and soul-destroying shame if I could be assured the cleaning people would look like the woman in the accompanying photo, but I suspect that’s not the case.
And it just would not feel proper to hire a company to come in and clean while also demanding they all wear French maid outfits. Besides, what if some of the cleaning people are guys? I just don’t wanna go there.
hell with a hangover- ha ha!
I know this sounds appalling, but here, in south Africa, we ALL have maids. NOBODY tries to get by without one. Clean up after yourselef? Pffft. Get a maid.