Winter and waking wonky
December 3rd, 2007 by Bill
Forgive the alliterative idiocy of the headline, but this is the Web …
For those living hermetically sealed lives within bubbles or absurdly isolated condos in the sky, the news is that winter has come to Canada. As usual, Canadians are shocked and horrified at this peculiar weather quirk. Who would have thought? Canada? Snow?
Surely, this is evidence the planet is topsy-turvy with climate change.
I’ve probably written about this before but it always amazes me the way Canadians respond to winter’s arrival and the first big snow. As if it is a singularity, something meteorologically uncommon, a freak of nature.
For the love of Mike, it’s Canada! Unless you arrived yesterday from a life lived exclusively in someplace like the Caribbean, I don’t understand how a Canadian can continually be surprised by snow. By winter. By cold.
Some headlines I’ve seen have trumpeted winter’s early arrival. This is December, isn’t it? And this is above the 49th parallel? When would they consider winter’s arrival timely in Canada? Late March?
I believe Molly Bloom has the correct idea about winter and cold and snow. It’s a minor curiosity best observed from inside, on her bed while strange upright beings (who marvelously provide food) run about with shovels as they rend their hair, looking wild-eyed as they cry, “My God! It’s snow! Snow! Can you believe it? Can such things be? What has happened to Canada that it would snow in December?”
By the way, in my part of the frosty nation we get to have our bums kicked by the weather a little later today and overnight as the snow is reportedly starting here in the next few hours. I wonder if that’s enough time to teach a dog how to handle a shovel?
Note:
My headline makes no sense without some explanation of “wonky.” When weather systems come in, when the weather changes (small changes, not so much), I get a little “wonky,” whatever that means. Generally, it means weird dreams, sleeping later than normal, being dopey and, every now and again, a seizure (though not today, thank heaven). Interesting … yesterday, all day, I felt like I was on the verge of a seizure, but it never happened.
