Crazy Ass Planet

I watched this show when I was a kid, not long after the earth cooled and dinosaurs started checking into retirement homes. Despite how long ago it was, this freakin’ song keeps showing up in my head. Be warned: once heard, it will be with you forever!

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So the snow that had fallen earlier in the week vanished quickly yesterday as the hours passed and the temperature rose. By evening, it was fairly warm and the air was heavy with moisture - the sky wanted to rain (which it eventually did).

And the more the temperature rose, and the more heavy the air became, the more agitated and exuberant Molly Bloom became.

And the upshot of it all was that I was out in the back around 1:00 in the morning chasing her, trying to get her to come in. She, of course, thought it was a game. A great game! So she would run up to me, crouch down, and when I made even the slightest move, would tear off again.

She also became obsessed with the small pond in the backyard which had iced over earlier in the week. As it got warmer outside, the less solid that ice became. And Molly thought that was just great because she was able to break pieces of the ice off and eat them.

And so she’s running around in the back. And so she’s eating pond ice. And so sometimes I see her as she moves into the light and sometimes I lose her in the dark, though I can hear her.

And at one point, having lost her in the shadows of trees and bushes, I hear nothing. I hear this nothing for a long moment. And then I hear a crack! So I go down to the pond to see what she’s doing.

Molly is standing beside the pond. And then she steps out onto it. Then she trots across it and there is another crack! and she falls in the water, trots out on the other side, shakes the water off with an air of indifference, and heads right back to the pond because now there are lots of broken pieces of ice for her to snatch up and eat.

I can’t remember how long it took to eventually grab hold of her and drag her back in (she was extremely reluctant) but it was probably around 1:30 am. And she was soaked, breathing heavily, and wagging her tail wildly because, in the end, there is nothing as fun as running around in the middle of the night, falling through ice and watching some idiot try to catch you.

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Recently, I’ve been making some design updates to one of my other blogs (and they kinda suck, but it’s “in progress,” as they say). It’s Sunday Stories and basically I was using it just for posting some quick fiction things, most of which were for Flash Fiction, a little something JJ had going every Friday. Unfortunately, JJ had to suspend it and both he and Flash Fiction have been missed.

Blah blah blah … the point here is that Übermilf has decided to resurrect it (see Return of Return of Return of Return of Flash Fiction Friday). And I, for one, am very happy about that. Part of the reason for redoing my Sunday Stories (so named because that’s generally when I end up writing them) was to kick start my writing again. I wasn’t sure how I was going to do that though until I saw Übermilf’s post.

So … Now the real point of all this blather: I have made my contribution for this week’s inaugural Flash Fiction 2.0 (or is it 1.1?). It is:

- Reflections - locations on five continents

It went better than I expected though the ending kind of peters out because, time being what it is and obligations being what they are, I had to wrap it quickly. Who knows? Maybe one day I’ll go back to it and try to provide a better end.

And that’s that except for this (on another topic entirely):

I found this entry from September 2005 that for some reason I forgot to actually post. It’s short and wouldn’t be worth noting except for the picture of the much-missed Gonzo. It’s titled Disrespect.

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My friend Marnie sent me this, and it was simply too good not to post a link to it:

Strap in, shut up and hold on. We’re going back.

“Last weekend I put an exhaust fan in the ceiling … While my brother-in-law and I were fitting the fan in between the joists, we found something under the insulation. What we found was this: A JC Penney catalog from 1977. It’s not often blog fodder just falls in my lap …”

Believe me, it’s worth a visit. It’s hilarious - and the clothes!!!

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A debilitated, yet still feisty, Noel (no longer with his hurricane status) trundled through Atlantic Canada on Saturday night, huffing and puffing and whizzing freely wherever he took a notion.

Fortunately, in my part of the east it was not so bad. From what I gather, New Brunswick got the rain but Nova Scotia got the wind. Although they also had their fair share of precipitation and we got a blustery taste of the winds. In fact, that photo is downtown Fredericton where one tree was toppled but that was the exception, not the rule, and didn’t do any damage from what I can gather. I did, however, have to keep going into the street every few hours to shovel leaves off the drain in the street, which kept clogging and causing all the damn water to run down my driveway.

But the incident that caused the greatest alarm, in my house, was when the power went off briefly. And then came right back on. The moment almost had the effect of a lightening strike, it was so brief. It was a bit startling. Too much so, it seems. Molly Bloom (the dog), who was in a state of some anxiety caused by the weather, and (again because of the conditions) was not inclined to go outside (as I wasn’t either), and had gone for some time without the relief afforded by backyards, shat in the hall then piddled freely in the same manner, same place.

So I was cleaning up dog shit and pee Saturday night. Thanks Noel. You’re a pal.

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Perhaps she sensed something the evening before …

And then morning came:

Well. At least it’s edible.

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“Violence brings more violence, more suffering. That’s almost like suicide.”

- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama -

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I am looking forward to Tuesday. Out here, in Fredericton, that’s when they say we will finally be rid of this ongoing wet, grey gloom that has sat on us for longer than I care for. Sun will finally return.

In the meantime it’s Sunday and grim and dull and there are a gajillion NFL games happening none of which I can bring myself to give a rat’s behind about. And so I am musing idly …

Why won’t Facebook let me change my name to Bill? Why must I always be William, like some forlorn prince in need of a real job?

Why do I still have Sheldon Souray in my Facebook NHL pool when it seems the Oilers are planning on another fiasco season?

What the hell am I going to write when November comes and I’m supposed to create a novel in a month?

Why do the guys on Hockey Night in Canada spend so much time talking about Crosby and marketing and economics and business … Isn’t the name of the show Hockey Night in Canada?

Could contemporary politics get any more discouraging?

Does anybody, anywhere respect Greenpeace anymore? Or has the term Greenpeace become synonymous with asshole?

Why is so much of new music instantly forgettable?

Why do people who don’t believe in God care so much about religion?

Why is television programming that follows the six o’clock news hour (meaning TV shows that start at 7:00 pm) so bloody awful? It’s like a broadcasting landfill. (Interesting that so much of it is entertainment news. Is there a connection? Hmmm?)

So much for my musing. I must get off my ass and do something now!

(I posted the above on Facebook yesterday but decided I prefer posting things here. There are quite a few things about Facebook I find annoying.)

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Much as I like living in eastern Canada there is one aspect I do not like and it makes it all so very, very tragic.

Try finding the freakin’ Edmonton Oilers on TV out here. Try finding someone who is even remotely aware of them, or even that there is a Western Conference to the NHL. Nada!

Senators, Leafs. Senators, Leafs. Senators, Leafs. Occasional references to the Habs. And I saw a guy walking around with a Boston Bruins jersey on. (Are they even still in the league? Or did they go the way of the dodo when Orr left?)

The Senators-Leafs thing is particularly disturbing since the Leafs haven’t sniffed the Stanley Cup since I was in diapers and the Senators … well, they have a habit of choking.

Mind you, I could live with that if I could at least find the Oilers somewhere, anywhere. Out here, I think the furthest west they see is Detroit.

That may explain the deer-in-the-headlights look that was common last spring when the Ducks spanked the Senators in the Stanley Cup playoffs. Yes, there is indeed a Western Conference.

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Well, Scarlet Hip and Spinning Girl did it, so I had to too. I don’t know what the hell this meme is called, but here it is:

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME:
(first pet & current car)
Bernie (I’ve never owned a car)

2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME:
Strawberry Oatmeal Raisin (Now there’s a name that’ll put the fear of God into anyone)

3. YOUR “FLY Girl” NAME:
(first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name)
W Wre (How the hell do you say that?)

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME:
(favorite color, favorite animal)
Blue Cat (Prrrrrrr …..)

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME:
(middle name, city where you were born)
Laurence Hamilton (Sounds like I’ve got a thong and a cool gin martini.)

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME:
(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)
Wrewi (I repeat: how the hell do you pronounce that?)

7. SUPERHERO NAME:
(”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink)
The Red Wine (Sounds like I bitch a lot)

8. NASCAR NAME:
(the first names of your grandfathers).
David John.

9. STRIPPER NAME:
(the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy)
I don’t care for perfume or candy. Sorry: no go. (YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:
(mother’s & father’s middle names )
George Florence. (Yeah, like they won;t find me with that name.)

11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME:
(Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter)
????????????? (Who the hell was my 5th grade teacher? You didn’t think I’d actually remember did you?)

12. SPY NAME:
(your favorite season/holiday, flower)
Spring Iris

13. CARTOON NAME:
(favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”)
Strawberry Banded Collary (Can I take the “y” away?)

14. HIPPY NAME:
(What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree)
Nothing Cedar

15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME:
(”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”)
The Humid Bowling Tour

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